A Tale Of A Tail :)

Okay, I know that you know what a tail is so I'm not getting into defining it. We also know that animals, birds & humans have tails. Oh wait, did I just say humans have tails? Of course! of course we have tails. The tail bone at the end of our spine which is curved inwards unlike animals blah blah blah... 'This is not a science or biology class to talk about bones and tails' is that what you just thought by any chance? Well, if I were in your place, I would have thought that. So, before you wonder why this tail nonsense here, let me tell you something...

             Do you know about the favorite tail concept? Are you aware of 'your' favorite tail? Well, a tail is something that comes with us or behind us where ever we go just like that cute little pug in 'Hutch' ad (if you remember the ad, pup & their tag line 'where ever you go, our network follows you'). To keep it simple, in our Indian or local slang a tail is anything & everything that comes along where ever we go (not the biological one). This tail could be your sibling or friend who just wants to come along even if you are going out on a date. There are some more tails we have, like, our mobile, wallet, shades, a comb, tissues, deos for some, lip-balm to some like me, lucky charms, and many more. To me, my lip-balm, sling bag, my red water bottle, scarf, a pack of tissues & kajal are my tails. But yeah, these are not my favorite tales. 

             Then what? What is my favorite tail? What is yours? See, favorite tail is something that we carry EVERYWHERE. We definitely don't carry the above listed things everywhere, to almost all the places but not everywhere. Do you? I don't! not to my bed, a restroom, to the general store at the end of my lane, from one room to another in my home and a few more places. What is that we carry along? What is that thing which is increasing your load, shadowing you in crowds & alone places? Most importantly, why has it become your favorite tail? 

            There was a time when my past, my hurts, some people in my thoughts, all that I couldn't do, all that I wanted, trust breaks, heart breaks, betrayals, simple issues of day to day life, people whom I was missing, a few things that were unsaid, some guilt, repentance, a few regrets, anger, frustration, tears were my favorite tails. The list was probably longer. One from that list was always on my mind, kept my heart heavy and added up to my baggage and were being my favorite tails 24*7, 365*many years! They were there even when I was asleep. The tails kept increasing and they grew longer & thicker consuming all my energy to drag them where ever I go. I felt troubled, helpless, lost, heavy, low, dead... had no idea what to do, how to get rid of all that. 

           I started seeing and observing the length, thickness & growth pattern of my tails. One fine day, I was amazed to see something. I was astonished. Seeing that I thought, "is it this small & thin?" Oh yeah, though the end or tip of my tails where thick & heavy, their roots, the beginnings were tiny, weak, thin & delicate because each of these tails started just with a thought or a feeling. Something that I thought or felt some hours, days, weeks, months & years back. Life & people in the present aren't the same but mentally I was fixated at something happened some time back. 

           It wasn't easy to let them go but wasn't impossible too. Though it took some time, it was simple. All I had to do was, take the knife of my strength & determination, shred them off from my mind, my life and bid a farewell to them & say, Its OK buddy, I'm fine. I'm  happy without you. You need not come back to me (to the tails, OK?) and embrace the new life, people & of course the new me. Slowly, slowly, one by one, some baby steps and here I'm. Now with some amazing, lightweight, advanced & new in the market kind (sorry, if I sound like selling a latest mobile or gadget? please ignore if I do :P) favorite tails.The tails that I now have are my happiness, peace, joy, freedom within myself, my smile & of course, a new flavor of lip-balm! 

          That's my tale of my tails, what is yours? What are those you wanna shred away & what are those you wanna take along & flaunt? When I could, you too can, my friend! All you have to do is, just sharpen up your knife, detach them one by one and let yourself free. Why carry so much unwanted stuff along leaving behind the important ones. The beautiful heart & amazing mind that you have also have a weight limit so keep it light. Why to trouble our self some more? Why to choose that strain? Why not start it right away & live again? You can make it happen, its just a thought away because you know life is short & we live only once.

#WLOO

Preneeja Peelukhana

The Three Magical Words!

Ever since we were born, You & I, all that we wanted & needed was love, care, affection, warmth, acceptance, attention, respect and all that we never wanted rather feared was ignorance, isolation, hatred, being taken for granted, under-valued etc. Isn't it the same even now? Like what we want, need, fear? We were born, our parents were our world, we grew, our friends made their space in our world, we grew up even more and its not just our parents & friends but the life partner, soulmate, the special someone concepts crept into our world. So, yeah, we all love to be loved by some or many, loved by at least one. 

BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE! :)

                What we do, how we live, whom we want etc revolves around the very concept of feeling good, feeling loved, feeling wanted, feeling safe, feeling complete. Doesn't that feel just awesome when someone says I Love You...? I Miss You...? I Want You...? I Need You...? May be that is the reason these sets of words are termed as the 'three magical words', for the magic and instant happiness they give to any individual. Consciously or unconsciously, that is what we crave for from our parents, friends, the special someone... and by now, you would have experienced such love & affection and this could be from the family, pets, friends, our intimate partner, spouse or anyone for that matter. 

But, are you happy? In spite of having people around you, are you happy? In spite of being loved by others, are you happy? What's your answer? No? Not really? Sometimes? Don't know? Let your inner voice respond to this... If the answer is a 'no' or anything other than a 'yes', have you thought about the reasons like why do you feel lonely? why incomplete? why low? why just surviving and not living? why do you sometimes feel disconnected? 

                Got the answer? I'll help? When was the last time you got to hear those magical words? Just now? a while back? a day? a week or a month? a year ago? much more longer? don't remember? That's OK! That doesn't really matter. What matters the most is, are you really hearing something that would soothe you or make you feel good? Do you really know what you need? Because 'you' in every sense is your soul and not your body. What we speak and think is the loudest audible thing to our-self. 

           When was the last time you conversed with your soul? When was the last time you appreciated yourself? When was the last time you told to your self 'I Love U & I'm there, Don't worry'? Do you know hearing to those words would make you feel great and soothe your every pain and heal your heart? Why are you waiting to hear it from someone else? That person in you needs you... needs your love & acceptance. 

I FEEL FREE IN MY OWN SKIN!

             By the way, what's your favorite thing? What is that without which you can't live? Well, mine was my mobile phone. I couldn't imagine my life without that. I feared losing it all the time. What is yours? Mobile, laptop, bike, car or anything big or small? I lost that phone, I cried, I sulked but later I got a new & better phone. Life without that mobile wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. 
                 Lesson learnt: The materialistic things once lost can be replaced probably with a better one but how about something which when once lost can't be replaced? Yeah, that's you, your soul, your life... take care of it like your baby. Adopt it & be humane to yourself, friend! If there is anything that you don't like about yourself, then those tiny-miny things can be fixed. If you feel bad for being betrayed, don't betray your soul that's keeping you alive. I feel glad that I haven't lost myself in the journey life, are you?

              Friend, what you have in you is what you can give to others and what you give is what you get back. Expecting mango juice out of lemons is mere foolishness. Trust me, you are the best medicine to self & the best companion too. Stand by yourself, stand tall! You have all the strength of a phoenix to rise from your own ashes. Believe in it & experience the magic! Love your self & live for yourself because WE LIVE ONLY ONCE!

#WLOO

Preneeja Peelukhana

P.S: ( Tell this to yourself ) I LOVE YOU. I LOVE & ACCEPT YOU FOR WHATEVER YOU ARE. I NEED YOU. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING ME ALIVE & BEING MY STRENGTH. YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU & NOT LET ANYONE HARM YOU. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. AND I'M SORRY FOR THE TIMES YOU WERE HURT. I'LL HEAL YOU. I CAN HEAL YOU. I CAN HEAL MYSELF. I'M STRONG. ( take a deep breath & smile) 

               

You can, My friend!

Aah! The monsoon again. These rains, flooded roads, moist climate reminds me of something beautiful I experienced last year around this time of the year. An usual working day but was excited because it was our class teacher's birthday and I took the responsibility of her gift. The previous night I made a set of handmade jewelry expecting that gift would make her day special.

So, Yes! It was her birthday and with all the excitement I almost got ready and realized it was pouring outside. "Oh God! What do I do?" starting off on my bike was technically impossible and no cabs available. "Terrible! I can't skip the college today. Her gift is with me. I'll have to go" I thought to myself, packed my bag, took an umbrella and commenced walking. Had to walk a few meters i.e. till the main road to take an auto-rickshaw. Perfect! I got into the auto. "Please hurry up!" I insisted the autowala to ride it faster as I was already running late. I was completely drenched because of the downpour. 

                         
"Terrible! Just Terrible!" I thought, when the water was coming into the auto from the roads.  Oh yes, the city was flooding and the route I had to travel was filled with knee length water and I was already late by an hour. And finally, though I was 2.25 hrs late than the usual college time, completely drenched till the bones, was caught by cold, the gift wrap got wet and torn to some extent too. But what made that day a beautiful and an unforgettable experience? Have you thought about it? 

                                
Well, I'll share. That 2.5 hrs of not so usual journey made me experience and realize a few things which are helping me keep my life smooth and accomplished till date. May be that's just my perception of what I've seen and felt. A man tied a huge umbrella to his bike and was riding in that rain with two little kids dressed in school uniform. The kids looked happy and seemed to be enjoying the slipping droplets of the rain from the points of their umbrella. May be he couldn't afford a closed transport like most of us. They too were equally drenched and probably late for the school but they were happy and enjoyed every drop of that rain. 

                                  
Saw a mommy embracing her child and wrapping up the child in her dupatta with a hope that she protects her child to the maximum possible extent. A man helping his colleague lifting the bike off the deep mud though his formals were getting spoiled. A girl holding her friend's hand and carrying her bag to help her cross the road safely, a group of rich looking youngsters treating each other with a hot roadside cutting chai and capturing those moments, a boyfriend holding an umbrella for his girl while walking maintained a constant blush on her face, a man getting down from the car only to give a raincoat to the beggar sitting on the footpath - drenched & shivering, a group of kids from the near by slum playing in the mud pond.

                                      
There was a girl who stopped her auto-rickshaw to give a lift to those two girls waiting of a bus, also the whole of the traffic taking diversions and giving a passage to an ambulance, my autowala himself giving a leg push for more than a kilometer to an auto which had an engine jam. And so many other things... The gender, caste, religious differences faded away, the line between rich and poor looked erased, every person around spread the non-verbals like they are there for each other. 

                                          
I felt I was surrounded by 'humans'. I was actually surrounded by not just knee length water but also by a lot of humanity, love, joy, happiness, positive energy and beauty. All that uplifted my mood and the delay, wet clothes, slightly spoiled gift didn't matter there after. And when it comes to what I realized, lemme share, there is always a helping hand in our bad times, might be from dear ones or strangers, but there always is a hand to lift you up when you fall... all we need to do is, just look around and ask. For all those who think love is all about romance, or going out on dates, or in the so called three magical words, no, its not! who knows if the person who loves you the most is just around the corner in the form of your parents, siblings, spouse, cousins, best friend, or someone whom you dislike and haven't realized it yet. 

                                            
These short and sweet tit bits of life make it beautiful in their own way, then is it you and me who couldn't see it that way? Can we start counting our blessings and start admiring the little pretties and joys we have and stop worrying about what hasn't come our way yet? Can we not die for a million things happening to us and start living? 

Take a deep breath friend & stay alive! Because,

#WLOO (We Live Only Once)

Preneeja Peelukhana